Praise Becomes Self-Talk
Researchers at Stanford found that praising effort — not fixed traits like "smart" — builds the belief that ability grows with practice. Kids who heard process praise kept trying after setbacks; kids praised for talent gave up faster. The phrases we repeat aren't just encouragement — they become the script kids replay to themselves.
Try this
Catch the Process, Not the Trait
Instead of "you're so smart," try "you kept trying different ways." It's a small swap, but it points at something they controlled.
Ask What They'd Tell Themselves
After a hard moment, try "what would you say to yourself right now?" Some families notice the words come straight from us — which makes you wonder what's actually landing day to day.
What's actually landing day to day when you praise your child?
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