Identity Praise Sticks Longer
In a classic study by psychologists Joan Grusec and Erica Redler at the University of Toronto, children told they were "a helper" after sharing were more generous later than kids simply praised for "helping." Naming who they are — not just what they did — gave the kindness somewhere to live.
Try this
Swap the Verb for a Noun
Try "you're a helper" or "you're the kind of kid who notices" instead of "good job helping." It's a small shift — but it hands them an identity to grow into, not just a moment to repeat.
Catch the Unseen Kindness
Some families narrate the quiet stuff — sharing a seat, waiting their turn — the moments no trophy would ever cover.
So when your child does something kind and no one's watching, what do you actually say?
When your child does something kind and no one's watching, what do you actually say?
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