The Payoff Behind the Hit
Decades of behavior research, including foundational work described in this functional analysis overview, show that behavior often continues because of the attention it gets — even attention that looks negative, like a raised voice or a lecture. For some kids, hitting isn't defiance. It's a fast, reliable way to get you fully locked onto them.
Try this
Move Your Body First
Try standing up, stepping back, or creating a little space before you say anything at all. You're not punishing — you're just quietly taking the payoff off the table.
Save the Energy for Calm
Some families save their warmest attention for the moment right after their child settles, not the moment of the hit itself.
So when the hitting stops getting a reaction — what's left to fill that gap?
When hitting stops getting a big reaction, what fills the gap in your house?
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