Sleep Is a Safety Check
Sleep researcher Ronald Dahl described falling asleep as a shift into an altered state of consciousness, one where the brain lowers its guard against the outside world. Child development research on attachment and sleep suggests kids settle faster when they feel a secure base nearby. That back rub isn't a stall tactic — it's their nervous system asking, "Am I safe enough to let go?" (Ronald E. Dahl, Sleep Onset Research)
Try this
Stay Until the Body Softens
Try sitting quietly beside them tonight, hand on their back, no talking required. You're not creating a habit — you're answering the safety question their body is asking.
Notice the Real Question
Some families ease out the second the eyes close; others linger until the breathing slows.
So when your child calls out after "good night," what does your gut tell you to do next?
When your child calls out after "good night," what does your gut tell you to do next?
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